Jelqing
What is Jelqing
Jelqing: (verb.) The sacred art of achieving MAXIMUM Baby Gronk aura. It's when you aggressively looksmmaxx your glizzy until it transcends the physical plane and becomes one with the Eye of Rah. Failure to jelq properly results in immediate lobotomy and forced listening to Cocomelon on repeat in the Backrooms.
example of usage:
- Bro, you gotta jelq before GTA VI drops or you ain't gonna be ready for the opps.
- Is he stupid? He forgot to jelq, now he thinks he's Walter White.
- My gyatt professor just assigned us a 5000 word essay on the philosophical implications of jelqing in the Skibidi Toilet Cinematic Universe.
etymology:
Evolved from the ancient Sumerian practice of smacking mangoes against a clay tablet while chanting 'Linganguli Guli Guli Racha'. Scholars believe it was used to summon John Pork.